HARD FIGHTING SKILLS? GADGETS? THE LADIES? BAT-VOICE?
So hard that when he punches someone a massive Ka-Pow appears. One word: shark-repellent Batspray. Up to his Lycra-clad elbows in 1960s dollybirds. The greatest voice in the history of voices.
An old-school fisticuffs style -very tasty indeed. A remote control for bloody everything, as was the fashion at the time. Kim Basinger and Michelle Pfeiffer? Don’t mind if I do… A slight growl. Subtle but effective.
Beating up Jim Carrey is hardly anything to shout about. A rocket-style tube straight into the Batcave. Honestly, just the use the stairs. She might look a bit ropey these days, but Nicole Kidman was the business back in the 1990s. When he remembers.
Needs help from Alicia Silverstone. Pathetic. Retractable ice-skates. Oh dear. Even Elle Macpherson can’t save Clooney from being the crappest Batman ever. Sounds like George Clooney. Must try harder.
A double-hard bastard and then some. Absolutely terrifying. A fine array of military-style weapons, mostly good for smashing over a villain’s bonce. Anne Hathaway in a catsuit. Meow indeed. Bloody ridiculous to be honest, but does the trick.
Real men do wear tights, after all.
Plenty of lounging around in smoking jackets and slippers. Classic.
Honestly can’t get enough of his boy wonder.
Holy landslide! With a whopping 33 Batarangs, there’s little doubt that Adam West is not only the original, but also the best.
Minimalist black ensemble. Loses points for the yellow belt.
He’s all roll-neck sweaters and curly black hair.
Not a sniff.
Must try harder.
It’s a strong effort from Keaton with 23, but his terrible style and lack of Robin has left him lingering behind in the Batcave.
Big emphasis on buttocks and codpiece. If you have got it, flaunt it.
Nice tuxedo, but the mid-’90s wasn’t kind to anyone’s hair, least of all Kilmer’s.
Prefers his boys in 1990s-style rubber. Much of a muchness, really.
Kilmer’s biggest crime is that he’s far too90s for his own good. No amount of rubber arse cheeks can save him from a disappointing score.
Nipples on the Batsuit. An absolute disgrace.
Give him his dues, the Cloonster is one sexy mother-effing Bruce Wayne.
Not bad, but enlists the help of a young Batgirl, too. Which is nowhere near as amusing.
We love you, George, but there’s no escaping the fact you are the shittest Batman there ever was -a paltry total score.
Kicks it Kevlar style. Modern but thoroughly menacing.
Wears the sharpest suits in Gotham but lets himself down with the occasional tramp’s beard.
Far too grumpy for that sort of nonsense.
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