Fat Girl Psychology

Before we go any further, I think it’s important we touch on some “Big Girl” thinking. I’ve been morbidly obese for nearly twenty-five years. That’s a very long time to deal with everything that goes along with being a big girl. And let’s just put it all out in the open: there’s a lot that comes with being overweight. I believe it’s one of the last things that people will still publicly ridicule and mock.

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I follow a very successful plus size model that I’ve seen called every single nasty name in the blog,publicly, on her professional social media pages. It’s honestly disgusting. Why do people think this is okay? It’s not! We are more than our bodies. We are also souls, sometimes delicate and always beautiful, souls. You never know what someone has gone through, or is going through, because of their weight.

Shame on our society for taking their own pain, anger and frustration out on people with weight issues. We’ve heard all the jokes and names and none of it was ever funny, so just stop already.

What Fat Women Want

I believe this shaming has put women especially women in the public eye into one of two categories: one group are the women who say, “Eff you, I’m going to look however I want to look.

I’m big and I’m proud of it!” Category two is the group that says, “Let’s not talk about the elephant in the room that is my weight.”

As a woman, it’s very difficult not to let yourself be defined in some way by your body, regardless of your size, but it’s exponentially harder for women who are curvy or plus-sized. Some of the questions I’ve been asked about my blogs tip toe around the idea that I wrote a “BBW” series. Honestly, I hate categorizing my blogs and I’m not a huge fan of the BBW title. When I wrote the Big Girls series, I was honestly just writing my own story. It didn’t even really occur to me that Anna was a “plus sized heroine” until people pointed it out to me. I just wanted to tell that particular story about that particular girl at that moment in time. Who knows what she looks like now or what she’s doing now? Hopefully, she’s happy and feeling good.

I’m not sure which side of the coin most of my readers are on, so my reason for writing this blog is to share where I’ve been, what I’m going through, and where I hope to end up. At this point in my life, my happiness has very little to do with looks. I figure I’m a bit past my prime and too happily married to worry about it. My focus at this point in my life is my health.

As a society, I would love to see us make peace with our bodies and make peace with each other.

Fat Is an Emotional Issue

I know that some of my readers have been pretty vocal to me about their success with gastric bypass and band surgeries, so I’m going to address that as well. I found lots of staggering statistics while I was researching this blog. The truth is, less than 20% of people who undergo those procedures keep the weight off for more than a few years. Many of them have additional health problems arising from the surgery, and more than 10% require additional operations after the first surgery. A recent study by the National Institutes of Health showed almost 40% end up having serious complications or nutritional deficiencies.

I know there are exceptions to every rule but in my mind, surgical procedures are just putting a Band-Aid on a gaping wound. Simply cutting people open and removing part of their intestines can’t solve our nation’s obesity problem. Why aren’t we more successful with those procedures? Well, I believe that the body, mind and soul are all connected, and those surgeries only address a single aspect of the weight problem, and not even permanently or safely for that matter. Surgical procedures that modify our bodies will not change our brains, our habits, the way we think about ourselves, or what we eat.

When I volunteered at a well-known bariatric hospital after my surgery, I saw a lot of horrible things, like people trading food addictions for addictions to alcohol, drugs, and sex, and I saw people coming in for their second or third bypass or banding. People who are so desperate for health end up more frustrated, without hope, and in worse shape than they were before their surgeries.

I believe eating right and dealing with our emotions and connections to food is critical for success. You must break the chains food has over your body and mind. Success comes through strength. If you’ve had bypass surgery and gained the weight back, it’s okay, that doesn’t define you!

If you plan to undergo that surgery, I wish you the best of luck with it but, please, do the research and understand it’s just a tool and, in my opinion, an unsafe one. There is a better, safer, long-term solution. Not all doctors will tell you that, either mine didn’t. Bariatric surgery is an extremely lucrative business, one which doctors and hospitals make enormous profits from

Love your body the best you can. Give it a chance to get healthy without putting it at even greater risk. Please keep reading this blog. I would love to show you a safer way. Let’s heal from the inside out. If you’ve already had a surgical intervention and still need help to feel good and healthy, please join me.

The Truth About Fat Women and Self-Control We can do this!

In the next post of this blog I’m going to focus on physical strength, wellness, and health. I want to be very clear though, and say that none of the things I have accomplished changes the fact that I will always be a Big Girl who puts on her big girl panties every single day. I’m a touch under six feet tall and I have a size twelve and a half shoe. My frame just isn’t tiny, and that’s how God made me. It’s part of who I’m heck, it is who I am

But, regardless of my weight, I’m a woman, and one with serious health issues, some which stem from my own poor choices, but still more from being misinformed. The last year was an epiphany for me; I’ve learned so much, not just about myself, but also about the human body. I want you to know that no matter what your weight may be; you can always be healthier by making positive food choices, engaging in physical movement and getting enough rest. We are all works in progress. Yes, I’ve lost a significant amount of weight making these changes, but even more importantly, I’ve found my strength and my health. I’ve discovered pride in my body.

I recently ran five miles without stopping. five miles! Can you believe that? I honestly couldn’t believe it even while I was actually doing it. It’s nuts! I’ve always had asthma and bad knees, even as a child. How the hell could I run that far albeit slowly without stopping?

What I realized was that I’ve been lying to myself my whole life. I just assumed I couldn’t do it. Fat kids can’t run, and fat adults certainly can’t, so how could I do it now? Thirty-six years old, mother of six children, countless health issues; there’s just no way, right? Well, what if all those lies are silenced once I clean the toxins out my body? What if my body starts working in concert with my mind, and I start to believe I can do it? What then?

That’s where this is headed.

Fat Girl Psychology

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