HALLOWEEN STYLES

It’s been 35 years since Michael Myers first hacked his way into horror history. And as is customary, he’s only got himself a shiny anniversary Blu-ray Steelbook coming out. Here are five reasons Halloween is still the greatest slasher film of all time.

Forget olstreaky-bacon face Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers is the business. He’s your classic soulless boogeyman – the kind who likes a cheeky perv before slaughtering a young lady to death. And they say romance

There’s an unwritten rule about comic-book sequels, and much like Superman II, and Spider-Man 2, the Wolverine’s second solo outing sees everyone’s favourite mutant lose his superpowers. He does, however, retain the ability to suck massive balls, something Wolverine and his X-Men chums have been doing since their very first movie back in 2000.

The story has Wolverine travel to Japan, where a meeting with an old acquaintance lands him in a whole heap of Yakuza shit. Six films into the X franchise, you’d think it would have something a bit more special up its spandex sleeve [consider how good

THE GREAT GATSBY

A book so brilliant it changed literature; an adaptation so insufferably annoying it feels like someone’s drilling holes in your head. Director Baz Luhrmann can’t sit still, but a typically grounded DiCaprio saves it

Marvel Studios had got at superhero movies by the time of Avengers Assemble) but The Wolverine is the same old generic guff, packed with weak characters and predictable plotting. We’ve seen it all before and done far better. Even the film’s best action sequence, a decent scrap atop a speeding train, is a rerun of Spidey’s subway punch-up with Doc Ock.

Credit to Hugh Jackman, though – he’s always decent enough as Logan/ Wolverine, giving it plenty of intensity and the occasional growl.

But even his hairy chops can’t claw this one back from the realm of superhero mediocrity.

PACIFIC Rl

Comedy A-listers are trapped in James Franco’s house after the apocalypse hits LA. At times it is the most self-indulgent nonsense Hollywood has ever sharted at us, but for the most part it is just fucking hilarious.

What should have been Guillermo del Toro’s big monster moment amounts to little more than a Godzilla-sized dump.

The action is solid but the rest is a tired stomp through the usual cliches.

SCREAM QUEEN

It would be a good few years before Jamie Lee Curtis had the decency to take her top off, but in Halloween she’s the archetypalfinal girl. Sure, she survives the nightmare, but it’ll cost her a fortune in therapy.

DRIVING ME CRAZY

It took loaded ages to pass its test, but Myers has no trouble driving – even though he’s been locked up for 20 years. Saying that, if we’d been carrying a massive knife like Myers, our instructor might have been more lenient.

GHOSTLY JAPES

Myers never misses an opportunity for a great gag.

At one point he plays a proper Halloween-style trick on a girl – putting a bed sheet over his head for a cheap scare and then strangles her to death. Joker.

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