HEWESTWING

Kanye announces he wants to run for President of the United States.
Tm totally backing this. What are his policies? Who knows and who cares, its Yeezy! And Kim Kardashian will be the best First Lady. I had her on my show and she was amazing and so down to earth. She even let me squeeze her bum! I told her it was like feeling a Babybel cheese. Firm but with a squidge. Definitely no silicone in there! I’d love to see her in the White House. The Oval Office is the same size as her bum, so they’d need to lube it up to squeeze her in.
Bruce Jenner announces he is transitioning to a woman and unveils his new identity Caitlyn to the world. My favourite transgenders used to be Lauren Harries and Kellie Maloney. But screw it, my new fave is Caitlyn. That woman can rock a frock like no other. I also watched her reality show I Am Cait and thought it was very inspiring. Go Cait!
Alan Carr, Yap, Yap, Yap! Live is out now on Blu-ray„ and DVD.
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