Kevin Costner Posters

Hollywood star Costner takes a day out of his busy schedule to talk loaded through history’s most notorious assassination.

Hi, Im Kevin Costner. You may remember me from the hit conspiracy movie, JFK. When Im not quaffing champers and shagging birds, Im trying to solve the mystery behind who really shot President Kennedy. This month – November 22 to be exact -marks 50 years since that fateful day, when JFK rode through Dallas, Texas, only to have someone shoot his head off, the poor sausage. And with new JFK movie Parkland due for release, I thought it would be the perfect time to revisit Ml / the top conspiracy theories, from magic bullets to stolen brains. Read vxalJ on and decide for yourself.”

The most popular theory is that Lee Harvey Oswald didnt act alone that day. While Oswald fired from the sixth floor of a book depository, a second gunman could have been stationed elsewhere – most famously4 thegrassy knoll, to the front of JFKs motorcade. Oswald _ claimed he was a patsy, suggesting he may have been part of a bigger team and then framed to take the heat.

MAGIC BULLETS MY ARSE

“When Kennedy’s motorcade passed through Dealey Plaza, Texan Governor John Connolly was sat in the front passenger seat, meaning he also copped a load of lead when the firing began. To explain the multiple bullet wounds on Kennedy and Connolly, the authorities came up with themagic bullet theory, which posits that one bullet went into Kennedy’s throat, down his gullet, out of his ball bags, did a loop-the-loop and then shot right up Connolly’s anus.

I’m paraphrasing, but it is something like that. Either way, it is a convenient way to cover up how many bullets were flying around that day.

BRAIN CHECK KILL LIST

“In 1966, it was discovered that JFK’s actual brain was missing from the National Archives. Ever since, the conspiracy theorists have exchanged ideas on what really happened to the brain. Was it stolen to protect the truth? To cover up the fact JFK had been shot from the front and not the back? Or to hide that someone in the coroner’s office had crudely etchedJFK Woz A Bummer into the brain with a scalpel?”

One sure-fire way to tell theres a conspiracy is to keep an eye on the witnesses. If they keep dying in suspicious circumstances – like road accidents or their heads falling off – chances are, something sinister is afoot. Thats what happened to a shitload of people linked to the JFK assassination, such as witnesses and outspoken critics of the government. Look at celebrity journalist Dorothy Kilgallen, who died of an overdose after rubbing authorities up the wrong way.”

YOU AINT SEEN ME, CAPICHE? IT WAS THE GAYS WHAT DONE IT

“Look, everyone knows the CIA played its part in the shooting. Who else would have the power to run such an operation and quash every line of investigation into it? But word on the street is that the mafia played their part, too.

With JFK’s soft stance on communism and his brother Bobby’s tough campaign against organised crime, the mafia could well have been gunning for Kennedy. Not only that, but Jack Ruby, the man who shot Lee Harvey Oswald, was connected to the mob. So that pretty much proves it. End of.”

“In the movie JFK, I play New Orleans DA Jim Garrison He’s the one man to bring accused conspirators to trial, linking Oswald to the CIA, anti-Castro activists and members of New Orleansgay community. According to Garrison, they were all working together to bump oft Kennedy. Garrison prosecuted local businessman Clay Shaw, though the jury found him not guilty in about two seconds due to a little thing calledevidence. Whether he was on the right track or not, in the eyes of the American public, Garrison blew the whole thing apart”

Kevin Costner Posters

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