I’m flattered Loni thought I was perfect, but I never felt that way. Growing up, I was a full head taller than everyone my ageboys includedand my curls required a bucket of gel to prevent frizzing. At school I was popular, but I felt like a character who had to maintain unrealistic expectations. If I had acne, everyone noticed. When I didn’t feel like getting dressed up, people would ask if I was sick or something.
And FYI, I envied Loni and thought she was beautiful! She has long shiny hair and amazing green eyes. I never understood why she was so hard on herself because I didn’t see any of the flaws that she saw. Worst of all, no matter how many times I said her eyes or lips were pretty, nothing made it better. I think it made it worse, and that really sucked. When she started wearing punky clothes and red lipstick, I admired her. She was cool in a different way than the girls who lived near us. I loved seeing her so confident.
One night, after eating a gallon of cookie dough and watching Mean Girls (twice!), we confessed we’d been jealous of each other all along. She’d hinted at it for a while, but hearing her say it and actually discussing our feelings was a huge relief. And now when we start to wish we had each other’s assets, we talk about it and laugh it off. I may never have her perfect red lips, and she may never have my beach confidence, but we will always have each other.
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