Being an advocate for yourself and loving yourself includes and is influenced both by how you speak to yourself and by how you speak about yourself to others.

Pretend you’re running for the president of your own internal democracy. What is your slogan? Jot down a few ideas, right here, right now. Canvas for yourself. Be an advocate for yourself.


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Of course, there are times in life when we should compromise; however, there is a balance to this. Compromising too much and too frequently is one of the most insidious enemies of self-love and, by extension, self-care.

I once had a dream where I was walking over some hills. In the midst of that walk I came across a rather large wood sign with the word compromise clearly etched upon it. Not surprisingly, that sign was relevant to my life at that particular moment, as I’m sure it would be to most people’s life at some time or another.

Inevitably, we all make some compromises throughout our lifetime. And to be sure, there are good types of compromises, the ones in which we achieve a mutually agreed upon consensus. And then there is another type of compromise, whereby we settle for things that are below or not aligned with our value system There are myriad reasons why we may make these types of compromises. At a certain point, though, we need to identify why we are continuing to make them at our own expense. And it doesn’t stop with identifying them. From there, we need to change our behaviors so that we are stronger when faced with the situations that may lead us to compromise. So that we, again, advocate for ourself in these scenarios.

This way to break this pattern is simple: The next time you find yourself in such a situation, don’t compromise. Instead, slow down and connect with your inner pace so that you have the time to reflect and feel, to know what is right for you. When you live in this state, you will be able to identify what you need and to give yourself what you love that self-care and self-love that will break outdated patterns and behaviors, so that, rather than neglecting ourself, we are on the way to becoming our best selves.

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