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Give positive reinforcement
Remember that words can hurt people, causing injuries that sometimes last much longer than those caused by “sticks and stones.”
According to the July 1995 issue of Incentive magazine, OPTUM, a phone service that answers consumer questions about health issues, polled 1,000 people in 1995 and found that:
• 28 percent of people with disrespectful bosses reported such physical problems as sleep trouble, headaches and upset stomachs, compared to just 5 percent of those with respectful bosses.
• Half the workers with nasty supervisors said they felt anxious on the job, versus 11 percent of those with nice supervisors.
• 25 percent of the survey respondents said they had left a job because of a supervisor who was disrespectful to them
It’s easy to point out someone’s faults and to do so forcefully.
It’s also easy to create a strong, long-lasting impression on a young person’s brain.
Suppose you shout angrily at a child who has just made a mistake, “You are so stupid! You can’t do anything right!” Imagine the impression this makes in the child’s brain. The child might carry that message – “I am stupid, and I can’t do anything right” – throughout his or her life.
It is all right – important, even – to identify problems and make sure children are aware of them But keep them in perspective.
Children don’t want “constructive criticism”; they want “constructive compliments.” Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him”
Review Exercise 2 on Mental Housecleaning and positive thinking, and program yourself to give positive reinforcement to the children and athletes in your care.
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