y older sister and I had an argument 20 years ago and I told her I didn’t want to see her again. Initially, she tried to get in touch, but I ignored her and eventually she stopped. We’ve been taking it in turns to spend Christmas at our parentshouse but we have just found out our mum is very ill. I’m desperate to spend Christmas with her this year, but the problem is it is my sister’s turn. My husband pointed out that as I can’t even remember what it was we I do not want my colleague to leave I s omeone I get on well with at work is leaving at the end of the year and I’m finding it difficult to cope with. It’s not that she’s a major friend – we do not see each other outside the office – but her resignation felt like the last straw on top of so many little things that have been happening at work and at home this year. I want everything to go back to the way it was argued about, we really should make up. I agree, but I do not know where to begin. Christmas is a time of year when we think about family, Long blonde scene haircuts and usually always see them. But it is also a time when old arguments from childhood can come back to haunt us. I bet that’s what you argued about – some rivalry or dispute that suddenly blew up and didn’t blow over. Every adult in their parentshouse at Christmas has to remind themselves that they are a grown-up and that they shouldn’t let memories make them act like a child. Perhaps she acted like the knowing big sister, and you reacted like a petulant little one. Before you know it, you have parted on bad terms, and the childhood feelings you reverted to have kept you from making up. So, let me say it again; you are an adult now.
Put the petty arguments aside and move on. Whatever you argued about and the years of bad blood since then simply do not stack up against one important thing: you are family. The worst thing would be to leave making up until it is too late. Swallow your pride, write to her today and arrange to have a full family Christmas together. It will certainly make your mum happy. Can I accept her offer? Since my husband died, my garden has gone to ruin. A neighbour, who has a small patch, has offered to take care of it for me, but I do not know what to say. How could I pay her back? I’m not even sure I want someone in the garden. There’s only one possible downside to this: if she feels she has carte blanche to come and go as she pleases, she may take liberties with access to what is yours.
But now you are alone, it might be nice to know someone will regularly pop round and be there to share a cup of tea and a biscuit. Your garden could also flourish and give you pleasure once again, and fresh vegetables would be a wonderful bonus. How can you pay her? Well, you say she does not have much of a garden herself, so perhaps she’s just looking for a hobby, but you can also swap plants, and of course you could give her some of the produce she grows for you. Sit down with her, thrash out an agreement that she always asks before coming over – and say yes! My family are getting tired of me ast winter, Long blonde scene haircuts I had major depression, and now, with the nights getting longer, I’m dreading it happening again. I have always been a bit like this, but last year, I just wanted to close the curtains and hibernate. It meant I was always late and tended to be grumpy. My family have got used to it and were loving and understanding, but I think last winter they got fed up with my behaviour. I do not know how to explain it to them. Short days and long nights do have a profound effect on most of us. For some, it is simply a tendency to break out the box sets, cuddle up and eat too much chocolate. For others, it is full-blown depression. Sit down with your family and tell them exactly what you are going through – and then start making some changes to help yourself feel better. The remedy tends to be more exposure to light, not less. So instead of hibernating, Long blonde scene haircuts make yourself go outside during the brightest part of the day even if the weather is poor.
Whether you shuffle along, walk briskly or even work up to a run, you will find spending a few hours in the natural light – along with the exercise – will make you feel better. But, while taking charge can make a difference, I’d still suggest having a chat with your doctor. C Change is always hard. Even when it is something that we want, it often takes time to get into the swing of anything new. But when it is a loss, you can resent it and want to hold back the tide. And often an accumulation of small annoyances can mean you have a disproportionate reaction to the final blow. You can’t stop change happening it is what life is all about. But what might help is to address whatever it is in the last year that most upset you – not dealing with that properly may be why it is all got on top of you now. Think through your bad year and put your finger on the worst event. Talk it through with family, friends or even with your doctor. When you can resolve your feelings on that issue, you might find your reaction to your colleague leaving becomes more manageable.
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